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Let’s Get One Thing Straight

Since I’ve launched this blog ( a whole however many days ago that was!) people have been so supportive and awesome and encouraging, both on-line and in real life.

But before we go any further, I want to make one thing clear: It’s not all sunshine and rainbows in my life.

I fight with my husband, I yell at my kids. I do not have the answers on how to be the perfect wife, mother or  human, anymore than the next martini-toting mother. (And for those of you that know me in real life, you can totally validate this in the comments below, with your own amusing Tiffiney Lozano stories!)

We have made this decision as a family to take a time out and travel with our children for an undetermined amount of time, because we feel it will make us stronger as a family.  Because what we were doing wasn’t working for us.  But we are in no way dissing on other people’s lifestyles.  Our little community of Quincy, CA is home to the High Sierra Music Festival and is nothing short of an amazing place to call home.  Seriously, some of the coolest people in the world call this home, and I feel we’ve got serious street cred to make that audacious claim, because between Diego and I, we’ve visited  something like 40 countries.  So that’s saying something. We love it here, and will absolutely be back someday, but we also have this untameable wanderlust.  There are so many beautiful places in the world! Do I have to pick just one?

Anyway, back to my straight talk.

I am a certified Idealist  (you can find out what you are here) that strives to be the perfect mother/person that lives in my brain. When I fall grossly short of that mythical goddess, I indulge my imperfections, cut myself a break and either enjoy a delicious adult beverage, a calming yoga or meditation session, a nice bitch session with my girlfriends, or a vulnerable, insightful talk with someone I trust to self-reflect . Inside my brain there’s this constant struggle of who I want to be, and who I am.  I do find myself moving in a more conscious, intentional direction, because that seems to be more effective in creating the life I want to live.  But I’m always going to be the sassy, smack-talking, rowdy girl, because let’s face it, talking smack is fun!  I do try to be mindful, kind, compassionate and purposeful with my choices and the way I treat others.  But yes, I’m human and going to fuck up. (sorry I should mention that if you don’t like the word fuck, you might not like my blog. I firmly believe that you can be an AWESOME human, spiritual and intentional, AND use the F word. If you don’t share this belief, you are absolutely a better human than me and I’m okay with that.)

The way I see it, the most important thing we all have to do, is show up  just as we are, in this moment.  All our strengths, all our imperfections, all of our blissful potential, and report for this duty of living.  If we wait until we’re perfect, we’re never going to start.

Just the other day, a dear friend shared something about another friend, and she was irritated.  Totally, normal, human emotion.  (Please go away and stop reading my blog if you have never felt irritated.) Anyway, she later text me and apologized for her not so zen words about the other individual, to which I replied, Sister PLEASE!  You can’t be perfect all the time, and in fact I would not want to hang out with you if you we’re always more spiritually advanced than me, because it would make me feel bad about myself! We giggled and joked about sunshine enemas, which don’t sound any more appealing than the real deal.

So I guess this is my big, dirty, internet confession to you: I don’t have it all figured out, and I don’t think my choices are better than yours. So while I am trying to show up, do my best, and create the best possible life for myself and my family, I’m fumbling through this life just like everyone else. I’m feeling my way through, trying to be a good person, and I happen to think that’s actually rather fun. Personal growth and transformation is what I live for.  It’s often painful and humbling, but I wouldn’t settle for anything less. There is a wonderful quote that I have hanging in my office, that always inspires me to live big without apology.

Tiffiney Lozano is the creator of the Mama Said Project and two crazy humans. She offers workshops for women craving connection with themselves and the world around them. After 18- months of continuous travel she and her family are finding adventure in the everyday from the comfort and beauty of their home in the Sierra Nevada mountains near Lake Tahoe.
6 Comments... add your own
  • Martha Gonzi
    June 21, 2014, 6:50

    Tiffany, I admire your openness and your truth. I have always lived my life the way you’re living yours. I traveled all over with my children and I tried everything I could to make everyone happy including myself. It was not an easy job and the only thing I had going for myself was my age. I was young enough to keep moving and growing. In the end things didn’t work out the way I thought they were but through all the perseverance I have made a happy life for myself. All I can say is try as much as possible to always live in the moment, stay spiritual and never give up yoga. Those three things have really helped me in my life.
    Looking back, I would never change a thing. I have learned so many lessons and I have grown so much as a human being.
    Keep up the good work Tiffany! It won’t be easy but your determination, love of your family, and the love of yourself will keep you going.

    • Tiffiney Lozano
      June 21, 2014, 10:23

      Thank you for the kind words Martha. It’s been really fun following your gorgeous photos through Facebook! You’re right, I don’t think any of us have all the answers. I admire your courage and appreciate your art and perspective! Would love it if we crossed paths another day soon!

  • Carina Retallack
    June 20, 2014, 9:12

    Love this!!! I think your realness makes this all even more inspiring. The fact that you and your family are just like the rest of us (ESPECIALLY us Quincy folks) gives hope to all of out here trying to make it through the daily grind. That we can still dream, and dreams can still come true, and that we don’t have to settle. That it’s okay for life to be hard, but we can change what the hard parts are worth doing for. So keep inspiring sista, cause I for one can’t wait to watch this adventure unfold!!

    I think I kind of want to be you when I grow up 😉

    • Tiffiney Lozano
      June 20, 2014, 9:25

      Aaah Carina! Thank you for your kind words- I feel the same way about you. I am SO happy we crossed paths, and I can’t believe it took us this long to meet! I’m so inspired by your art, and that you just started DOING IT. You didn’t wait for permission from anyone. You are going places girl–and I look forward to collaborating on many projects to come.

  • Susie Cheatley
    June 20, 2014, 6:23

    Love that quote! Love your blog post today! Keep shining my friend and living fearless!

    • Tiffiney Lozano
      June 20, 2014, 9:26

      Susie!! Thank you girl! Can’t guarantee it will all be shiny, but you can trust that it will be my version of truth 🙂 Thanks for joining us on this wild ride!

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